How to deal with shame and guilt

 In all probability, as you've walked through your path of life,

you've had moments when you felt really proud and other moments when you felt

kind of guilty or even shamed. I'd like to address,

in case you ever have a moment of feeling guilty about something,

I'd like to address, what exactly is guilt?

How does it created and how is it dissolved?

I know that if you go through life and you're carrying around guilt,

it can affect you economically because people who do tend to minimize themselves

and have difficulties receiving money and holding onto money,

and they become consumers and buyers and altruistic givers to others to

compensate for their guilt. And so dissolving that can be very,

very valuable to you.

So let's address that and let's look at some practical things you can do to deal

with guilt. First let's define it. Guilt, the way I define it,

is an assumption that you have caused with

your motor functions and actions with some actions of your body,

or at least in your memory,

in the past or pain and pleasure or loss than gain,

more negative than positive, more challenge than support,

more risk than reward or more disadvantage than advantage, to somebody.

If you feel guilty,

you're assuming that what you've done has caused more pain than pleasure to

somebody. Now, in the universe there's always a balance.

There's never a pain without a pleasure, there's never a loss without a gain,

there's never a window shut without a window opening.

There's never one sided events. All events always have a pair of opposites.

So anytime you're carrying around guilt,

it's because you've assumed that there's still only a drawback to the person

you've done the action to, a loss to them. So if you feel guilty,

it's wise to first define specifically,

what specifically did you do or not do, in some cases,

that is leading you to the feeling of guilt? Maybe let me give an example,

maybe your mother is sick and you weren't there for her while

she was sick,

or maybe your son had a baseball game and you weren't able to be there for the

baseball game,

or maybe you were there late at work and a big deal just passed by and didn't

get to do it because you weren't there.

Anytime you think you've done something that caused more pain than pleasure,

more loss than gain, more negative than positive,

you could be running the feelings of guilt.

So here's what you do. Identify specifically what you feel you did,

that you feel guilty about it. Identify who specifically you feel is affected,

because guilt has, what I call a vector, a direction to it,

to a specific person or group of people,

find out exactly who it is you feel guilty to. And then ask this question,

what specifically is the benefits of my action or inaction

specifically to those individuals that are being affected?

And do not stop until the amount of benefits equal the amount of drawbacks.

And you may have to get creative about it and look in all seven of life.

Spiritually, how did it help them? Mentally, how did it help them?

In their career, how did it help them? In their finances, how did it help them?

In their family, relationships, how did it help them? Socially,

how did it help them? Or in their physical health, how did it help them?

Just keep going around the wheel and ask,

how specifically did my action or inaction help them specifically?

And don't stop until you can see enough benefits there.

And as the benefits accumulate, and as you jot those benefits down,

you're going to discover that there is always a benefit with every drawback.

There's always a pair of opposites. Once you balance that equation,

you will not feel guilt.

You can even do a reverse psychology and go one step further,

you could even ask, if I had not done what I had done,

and I had done what I thought I should have done or hope to have done,

what would have been the drawback?

And if you get the drawbacks of the way you think you 'should' have acted and

the benefits of the way you acted and keep doing those and asking those

questions, you'll find out that the guilts completely dissolvable.

Every week I do a program called the Breakthrough Experience,

and every week I help people dissolve shame and guilt,

and it is such a simple thing to dissolve.

And people carry around those types of baggage's for days, weeks, months, years,

or decades. And it takes minutes, no more than hours to dissolve.

The quality of your life is based on the quality of the questions you ask.

If you ask the right questions, and I just gave you those,

you'll dissolve the shame, guilt that you're experiencing.

And if for some reason, as you're doing it, you're running into a blank,

because you're holding onto the shame and the emotions are running you instead

of your reason, and you have difficulty with that, call our offices,

call the Demartini Institute and sign up for the Breakthrough Experience.

That program I teach the Demartini Method in. And in there,

there's a specific series of questions that we train everybody who attends,

on how to dissolve exactly that,

the shame and guilt that they're carrying around,

it's holding you back financially, holding you back,

feeling worthy of great relationships, holding you back in opportunities.

Shame and guilt can erode the opportunities for your life.

And it's such a simple thing to dissolve.

So come to the Breakthrough Experience and let me show you how to dissolve it.

And that way, anytime it ever arises in your life, you know exactly what to do.