how to deal with intimidation

you've come across people that you may have felt intimidated by, very probable.

We most all have a moment somewhere in our journey that we kind of look up to

people and kind of feel small compared to them. Now,

this is not because you're a small person.

This is because you're not honoring what you have and you're exaggerating what

others have.

So I'd like to address that and show you how to dissolve intimidation in case

you're confronted by it. Because that could stop you in your career.

I could stop you in sales. It could stop you and valuing yourself.

There's a whole lot of things that that could hold you back from.

So let's look at what exactly is intimidation.

Anytime you are intimidated by somebody,

what that means is you're too humble to admit what you see in them is inside

you.

And you're exaggerating what they have and minimizing what you have in response.

Anytime you infatuate with somebody and put them on a pedestal relative to them,

you tend to minimize yourself and put yourself in a pit.

And it doesn't matter what area of life that may be.

And you may think that they're more intelligent.

You may think that they're more successful.

You may think that they're better looking.

You may think that they're more financially viable.

You may think they have a better relationship or better looking or more

spiritually aware, or one area or not,

you may have multiple areas you think that they're better and more than you.

But anytime you're too humble to admit what you see in them is inside you,

you set yourself up for intimidation. So how do you handle intimidation?

What's the practical application that you can use to do it? Well,

the quality of your life is based on the quality the questions you ask,

and here's the questions to ask to change your life if you're intimidated.

Number one is,

what specifically is it about this person that I feel that

makes them so powerful? Is it that they're better looking?

Is it that they have more money? Is it that they're more intelligent?

Is it that they have, you know, more success image, confidence?

Identify the trait and list it.

Every single thing that you think they have that you don't,

or something that they have more than you, that you feel you don't,

and make sure you get everything until you've exhausted,

you can't think of anything that they have that you don't, write them down.

You'll probably have anywhere from three to 10 or 15 different things listed.

Now, the next question you want to ask,

is where and when do you display and demonstrate that trait

in your life? And you might even want to add who sees that in you? Where,

and when do you display or demonstrate that trait in your life?

And you've got to keep answering that question and scan through your memories

from the present all the way to the past.

And look at everybody you've done that to until you can own the trait you see in

them 100% to the same degree. Now at first, you're going to swear,

there's no way they'll have it way more than you,

but I've been doing this now for the last 25 years asking that question.

And I can tell you with absolute certainty,

you cannot see something in somebody else that you don't have, the seeer,

the seeing, and the seen are always the same.

Aristotle mentioned this back when his times and throughout the ages,

great psychologists and philosophers have mentioned this.

We will not see things that we don't have inside ourselves.

We have a mirror reflection. That's why you've heard the statement,

we're all reflections. So, and Schopenhauer says,

'We become our true self to the degree that we make everyone else ourself.' I

have used this tool for people that want to expand their life and play the

bigger field of possibility. It's a very powerful tool. So you ask,

where and when do I have this trait and keep documenting where and when

you have it and who sees it, and keep document,

over and over every exhausted memory you can think of, until you go,

by God I do have this trait and I demonstrate it in a different way.

Now they may be demonstrating their competence in their business,

and that may be because that's highest on their values.

You may be demonstrating the competence in the way you manage your children,

because your highest value may be your children, but you still have confidence.

So you got to find out where you demonstrate that trait,

and it may be one or more of the areas of your life that you have to look for,

but don't stop until you own the trait 100%.

The moment you own it 100% you will automatically feel less

intimidated and go through each one of the traits.

Now let's go one step further. Let's really nip that in the butt. Now ask,

what are the drawbacks of them having that trait?

The drawbacks to you, of them having that trait.

Because if you take and find the drawbacks of that trait,

your infatuation and your dopamine addiction to that trait that you're so

infatuated with or put on a pedestal or admire, calms down.

Once you associate the drawbacks with it,

you calm down the thing you admire and you level the playing field.

If you come up with the drawbacks of the trait to equal the benefits of the

trait and flatline it, cause there's always two sides to every trait.

Let me give you an example. Let's say I'm dedicated towards a cause.

And that cause is, support somebody's values,

that person will label me dedicated, perseverance,

you know, driven.

The same person or another person may see the same trait,

that challenges their values as pigheaded, stubborn and rigid.

So that's a different interpretation of the same trait.

Somebody may like it and dislike it and see it totally different.

There's always a benefit and a drawback,

a positive negative component to every trait.

So you've got to go in there and find out the drawbacks and flatline it until

the positive and negatives are balanced.

And if you do that on every one of the traits,

you will not be intimidated by that person when you're done,

you'll just see them as another human being, as a reflection of you,

somebody worth not putting on a pedestal nor putting in a pit,

but putting in your heart. And now you'll have a dialogue with them.

Because whenever you minimize yourself to somebody,

you're going to be walking on eggshells, fearing what you say,

you're going to hold back what you really want to express,

and you will hold back and then disempower yourself.

The second you own the trait and the second you see the drawbacks and flatline

the trait,

you'll just see them as another human being worthy of sharing your love with.

Intimidation is not something you have to live with,

intimidation is a prompt to you to let you know that you're exaggerating people

around you, minimizing yourself and not honoring your own magnificence. Now,

for some reason,

if you're having difficulty doing this exercise and you're giving up prematurely

on it, instead until it's balanced,

can I encourage you to contact the Demartini Institute,

call us or better yet come to the Breakthrough Experience,

where I show you how to exactly do that process.

I take you through the Demartini Method. When you do the Demartini Method,

columns, we go through a series of columns of questions. And as we do,

we do exactly that exercise, that method will dissolve intimidation,

and every week we do this, and it's amazing. So if you have any intimidation,

you're about to public speak and you're afraid with the audience,

you're about to do a sale and you're having difficulty in sales.

You're about to ask for promotion and ask for income and you're afraid of doing

that, or you're afraid to go out and do your own business,

any intimidation can be solved that way.

And if you identify the process I just described or come to the Breakthrough

Experience, it doesn't have to run your life anymore.